Dark streets and callous dimension
by Zheng Jin
Summary: A samurai, a ronin, a shim, a hit man, and a perverted soldier with mental constipation


Dark Streets and Callous Dimension Episode 1: FOO-TOO?!  
  
A samurai, a ronin, a shim, a hit man, and a perverted soldier with mental constipation.  
  
This story was written by Zheng-Jin.  
  
Disclaimer: I only own Glass; I don't own any other character.  
  
Vicious: * supposedly lying lifeless*...huh? He didn't succeed, whaddya know? * gets up*  
  
Mysterious Guy: * comes up* .....Oh, so you're not dead. Damn. No money.  
  
Vicious: Who the hell are you?  
  
Mysterious Guy: ...What's it to you?  
  
Vicious: A cleaner? Assassin?  
  
Mysterious Guy: Ding ding ding! Johnny, give vicious a prize. *lights a cigarette*  
  
Vicious: How do you know my name, stranger?  
  
Mysterious Guy: Oh, that's your name. I didn't until just now. Well, guess I'll have to go terrorize somewhere else. *starts walking*  
  
Vicious: Wait.  
  
Mysterious Guy: What?  
  
Vicious: You terrorize, eh?  
  
Mysterious Guy: Yeah. I'm gonna go find some other place to terrorize and maybe dominate.  
  
Vicious: I think I'll join, you. * gets up and holds out hand*  
  
Mysterious Guy: * shakes hand*...All right.  
  
Vicious: Well, what do your victims call you?  
  
Mysterious Guy: Call me Glass.  
  
Vicious: How original.  
  
The two assassins go to Tokyo to wreak havoc. They're both walking down the street. And then suddenly, Vicious and Glass brake out with katanas and kill everyone in sight. And then, someone shot them both in the head and they die.  
  
Vicious: Once again, I've been shot and didn't die.  
  
Glass: Yeah, whatever. Where the hell are we?  
  
Kenshin: You both are dead, that you are! ^_^  
  
Glass: Who's happy boy?  
  
Kenshin: You may call me Kenshin, that you may. You must be Vicious and Glass, welcome to hell!  
  
Vicious: It don't look like hell.  
  
Glass: Yeah, where's all the fire?  
  
Kenshin: That's your stereotypical hell, that it is. Right this way! *points to a big black door*  
  
Glass: Must be in there.  
  
Vicious: Yes.  
  
The trio walks in to see a huge lounge room, a bar, and a huge TV. They see many familiar faces.  
  
Vicious and Glass: Whoa!  
  
Kenshin: Please, make yourselves at home! ^_^  
  
They both go separate ways, Vicious finds Gren, and Glass finds Demon Eyes Kyo.  
  
Vicious: Gren?  
  
Gren: Yes?  
  
Vicious: It's been a long time.  
  
Gren: Yes it has. Julia's here too, you know?  
  
Vicious: I want nothing to do with that blonde bitch.  
  
Gren: Oh, well I'm sorry.  
  
Vicious: Whatever. This lounging thing's gonna eventually get old; what do you do for kicks down here?  
  
Demon Eyes Kyo: You can go back in the real world, but only if you cause chaos.  
  
Vicious: Really?  
  
-Kyo: Yes. But you can only be in the real world for 12 hours maximum a  
day.  
  
-Vicious: But can I go every day if I wanted to?  
  
Kyo: Of course!! This is hell!!  
  
-Vicious: Can I go any where, any time, harass anyone?  
  
-Kyo: Yes!  
  
-Vicious: And ultimately, will I be in the flesh?  
  
-Kyo: For the last time, yes!!  
  
Vicious, Glass, Kenshin, Gren, and Kyo: Let's go!!!  
  
So the five are ready to go and terrorize.  
  
Kenshin: * holds out a pocket watch*....We leave at 4h30 pm, and return 4h30 am!  
  
Kyo: Let's go then!!!  
  
Kenshin: Patience is a virtue, Kyoshiro, that it is. Please, let me change* turns into former Hitokiri Battousai*...lets go.  
  
Kyo: Call me that again, and I'll send you to Heaven!  
  
Shinta: Is that a threat?!  
  
Glass: We are using up time, you know? Fight later!!  
  
Kyo: He's right.  
  
Gren: Let's go.  
  
So the first stop they make is in feudal Japan. Shippou is picking flowers.  
  
Gren: I wanna get the first scare. You guys go find someone else.  
  
Others: Yeah.  
  
Gren: At 4h15, meet at this tree, white foam coming from it, ok?  
  
Others: Ok.  
  
Gren: * stands silently over Shippou, wearing a Chubaka mask*  
  
Shippou: Is that you, Inu Yasha? .....Kagome?....Miroku?....Sango? *turns around*......@_@  
  
Gren: Boo.  
  
Shippou: Ahhhh!!!!! Kirara woke up from a bad dream!!!! And tried to be human!! *runs around in circles*  
  
Vicious and Glass find Naraku in a nearby hut, but are first spotted by Kagura.  
  
Kagura: * sees them dressed in all black assuming they are demons*....Hello.  
  
Vicious and Glass: Who are you?  
  
Kagura: My lord has been expecting you.  
  
Vicious and Glass: *look at each other*...Really?  
  
Kagura: * points toward hut*...Right this way.  
  
They go in, and Naraku is playing voodoo or something. If you've seen the show, then pretend he's doing what he normally does.  
  
Kagura: My lord, they have arrived.  
  
Naraku: * looks up at them*....Welcome.  
  
Vicious and Glass: UHHHH...hi.  
  
Naraku: Will you both help me find the rest of the Shikon no tama?  
  
Vicious and Glass: What is it? And who are you guys?  
  
Kagura: Allow me, sire. This is Lord Naraku and I am one of his carnations, Kagura, wind bearer. We are to seek the jewel.  
  
Glass: Jewel?  
  
Kagura: Yes, Shikon no Tama, the sacred jewel which-....ehhh?!?!  
  
Vicious: * holding Kagura's left breast*...hmmm, that's pretty firm for a carnation!  
  
Glass: But a carnation's not a carnation if you don't check something else and test it.  
  
Vicious: * grins widely*.....Naraku?  
  
Naraku: Yes?  
  
Vicious: May I borrow Kagura for a bit?  
  
Naraku: I would be honored.  
  
Kagura: Where are we going?  
  
Vicious: Somewhere. Let's go in this nice little compartment. * points to another door.*  
  
Kagura: Ok.  
  
Vicious: * slams door*  
  
Naraku and Glass: *hear loud screams and moans coming from the door, and Vicious and Kagura come out 15 minutes later, untidy.*  
  
Vicious: I told you, you'd like it.  
  
Kagura: I suppose you're right.  
  
Naraku: What'd you do?  
  
Vicious and Glass: Something.  
  
Naraku: ?.?.....Well, would it be too much trouble to ask for it?  
  
Glass: What? The jewel? Ok, got a photo of it?  
  
Kagura: FOO....TOO?!?!?! What is a foo-too?  
  
Vicious and Glass: FUCK!!  
  
Naraku: I see that you are not aware of its current status. * holds up the jewel chunk*  
  
Vicious: Don't tell me you want us to find the rest?!  
  
Naraku: *nods*  
  
Glass: Wait a minute, lemme see that......Oh, I think I have it * pulls out the other half, *  
  
Naraku: REALLY?!!?!?! GIVE ME THAT!!!!! *takes the jewel from him, and it fuses together*  
  
Glass: Hey! Watch the hair.  
  
The jewel starts floating in midair, and glows all pretty. And yes, you guessed it, Kikyo magically appears.  
  
To be continued..... 


End file.
